I watched a movie a while ago and really; I cried almost all through. It seemed as a fiction at first but realised it was a real life story, when I checked. Yeah, there was this lady who was all sad and withdrawn and she practically fled from home for 6 years; only for her to discover she had Leukaemia (cancer of the blood). Going back 6 years: she was put in care of their neighbour’s baby and she had to babysit her younger brothers as well. But things just happen and you just don’t know why – her brothers were fighting & whilst she was trying to settle their fight, the baby’s walker kept on moving off & down the stairs it went. It all happened in a flash, cos as at few minutes back she left the baby to settle her brothers fight & in the process, the baby slipped down the stairs & died. She never opened up that she blamed herself and she kept on suffering in silence. 
   When she discovered she had a terminal disease, she decided to come back home. Hoping to find a reason to forgive herself, but yeah things got bad & not as hoped; as the mother of the child got a lot angrier and sad seeing the lady again after years and one thing led to another. The lady’s issue got worse but because she was trying so hard to find a reason to forgive herself and not have herself to blame, she didn’t open up and she became a lot worse. Time passed by and the family of the deceased baby found a reason to forgive her and one thing caught my attention deeply – While she tried so hard seeking to be forgiven, she left herself out of the equation (being forgiven as well). She felt she deserved being sick and it was karma. She sought for ways to seek to be forgiven but she never found a reason to forgive herself. She went as far as neglecting her chemotherapy sessions & thought she needed no help at all. No matter how hard they tried to help her even when the woman in question told her she had forgiven her eventually & hope she finds a reason to forgive herself; she still wallowed in so much guilt.

Yeah, eventually she found reasons to deserve being better and hence embraced all the love towards her from family and friends & decided to go for her chemotherapy.
   Many of us are like this; we have had some unprecedented experiences & situations & we felt we are the cause of it and whatever came out if it, that was not so good was our fault. Maybe we caused it, maybe we contributed to it happening but one thing I want us to know is – It has happened and no matter what you would have wished you did back then wouldn’t make the clock pace back to the time it happened. We need to seek to be forgiven & as much as that is needful in God, we need to learn to let go & be forgiven as well. You deserve a better life, a better home, a better You always. So, stop living at the detriment of yourself wishing you had done something better back then. Why don’t you take that wish and apply it to the now and future and do a lot better with life and be a better or best you in all you do.
  I won’t tell you to pace back or take back the time that has passed by, rather I would advice you look up and trust God so much as to Him leading you to deal the best with your life and lives around you whilst it’s still time.
  Forgive and let go and above all seek to be forgiven. See yourself deserving to be forgiven as well. 

  God loves you and wants to heal your hurting heart, if only you would allow Him in and stop wallowing in guilt and the past. I know it is impossible to take back time but It’s possible to make the best in the time you have now and that to come. 

# Seek to forgive and be forgiven. You deserve to be forgiven!!. Just as Christ is ready to forgive you, if only you would approach Him today.🙌🙌

Happy new week!. 😀😀😊

*** Also, there is a poem to this post. To read up, all you need do is tap on the next post after this. (Just a tap) 😘😘

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