I have fought the idea of writing about this several times. But I can no longer ignore it. Also because I have heard of similar experiences from other parents as well, who have younger kids in the system.

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The Known Bias – A Boxed Mentality

There are certain set expectations that the Dutch system has for each age group. So for example, my son who is in Preschool, joined at the age of 2. He is still 2 years old by the way.

Preschool is for children within ages 2-4 years here in the Netherlands. But…. Emphasis on the but. Some, if not most teachers tend to take the same expectations of a 4 year old and apply it to that of a 2 year old.

At first, it can come of as them being concerned about your child. Then it projects on to hearing comments such as — “Your child is different”; “He wants to play when everyone is sitting down”. Like what do you expect of a 2 year old. To sit down for a longer time as an other 3 or 4 year olds in the same class does? Are they joking?

Then the comments go on and on almost every day your child is at school. That you have to mentally prepare yourself for it. Feedback is good but when it is something based on an unrealistic expectation of your child and you have to hear it almost every day, phew! 😌

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I don’t have to go to a teacher training school to know that with kids, you can’t expect the same level of concentration from an age 2 and that of an age 3 or age 4.

I would have thought that this context would guide their approach. Without plaguing parents with the comments of you thinking their child is special, because you are boxing varying age groups into one. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Context people! Context. We also put context when relating with older people or adults, why then do they not do this, for younger kids. I for one hate labels. Especially because I have been with this child and I know that what you are saying isn’t who my child is. So if you have concerns, having mentioned it to me as a parent, and I am doing my best to address this with my child and I see that he is doing what he can, at the age he is, then you’ve got to do your part. And I have to see you doing it, not just labels here and there.

It’s unhealthy.

Also for some of the kids newly residents here whose parents recently moved into the country, there is sometimes little grace shown to these kids as well. It’s sad that you are expecting a child who has been in a completely different environment to adapt as soon as possible.

What ever happened to being patient and giving the child some space and enough time to adjust.

I believe that the Dutch education system needs to be worked on. When taking in new teachers, train their perspectives to know that there are variations in their classrooms. You can’t keep boxing every child in, that is wrong and unhelpful to both the child and parent who gets to hear these remarks or comments.

Some days I am wondering – I just hope they don’t tell my kid when I’m not there – Oh well you are special or different to other children.

While being different isn’t a bad thing, but the manner of them portraying or saying it to my child is the concern. 💯

As I was walking back home today, I was displeased at the the recurrent happenings. It felt like this unending cycle.

In that moment, I thought of reaching out to the Dutch Minister of Education. I even considered writing the concerned parties emails – That what has been happening, is unhealthy and it needs to be worked at, proactively.

Stop employing people with myopic mindsets and please train teachers to see each child in their individuality. ❗️

Maybe someone will get to read this someday, who happens to know someone who is at the level to effect these changes.

Thank God for the internet right. 🙂

From a momma,

Mercy